Desperately Seeking Simple

“The quality of your life is not determined by what you add to it, but by what you take away from it.”
– CHERYL RICHARDSON

We have so many conveniences available to us these days—family planners, personal trainers, grocery delivery services, nannies, Blackberries, maid services, gardeners, dog walkers, credit cards, microwaves, call waiting, and the list goes on and on. There is no shortage of services and tools to help make our lives faster, easier and more efficient. The reality is, however, that the more stuff we add to our lives, the more complicated and stressful our lives become.

A happy life is a simple life. Take a look at what areas of your life have become overly complex and consider what you can let go and simplify. Maybe you and/or your kids can engage in fewer activities. Maybe you can exercise with your family instead of going to the gym. Maybe you need a smaller house. Maybe a career change is in order. Some things will be easy to let go, others will require a lot of thought and courage. Whatever you choose, finding ways to keep life simple will go a long way in helping you create a calmer, more joyful life.

What I've Learned from My Mother

What I've Learned from My Mother
              by Julia Kasdorf

I learned from my mother how to love
the living, to have plenty of vases on hand
in case you have to rush to the hospital
with peonies cut from the lawn…to save jars
large enough to hold fruit salad for a whole
grieving household…
I learned to attend viewings even if I didn’t know
the deceased, to press the moist hands
of the living, to look in their eyes and offer
sympathy, as though I understood loss even then.
I learned that whatever we say means nothing,
what anyone will remember is that we came.
I learned to believe I had the power to ease
awful pains materially like an angel.
Like a doctor, I learned to create
from another’s suffering my own usefulness, and once
you know how to do this, you can never refuse.
To every house you enter, you must offer
healing: a chocolate cake you baked yourself,
the blessing of your voice, your chaste touch.

Source: Sleeping Preacher, University of Pittsburgh Press, 1992

This poem is such a wonderful reminder about what we have learned from our mothers—thoughtfulness, love, compassion, and nurturance. The women who came before us have taught us much about how to be a loving presence in the world. For me, this poem is also an important reminder to us newer Moms to pay attention to the legacy we are leaving our children—especially our daughters who will be the mothers that follow us. Amidst our busy, hectic lives saturated with TV, movies, magazines, video games, and iPods, are we taking the time to pass on the wisdom our children need to offer their loving presence to the world?

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this month, let’s take some time to ponder the legacy we are passing on to our own children. What do you want your children to learn from you? ♥

Have a Little Faith

"We can have no certainty about what the future will be.
It is not a good time for control freaks."
                                                     —ERIC YOUNG

Remember when you were pregnant and for nine months you just waited patiently for nature to do its thing and grow your baby? Okay, so you ate healthy and got plenty of rest, but other than that you waited … and trusted. You trusted that nature would give your baby two eyes and a nose and ten little fingers, exactly where they’re supposed to be. This is faith—trusting in a force greater than yourself to handle life.

The truth is that many aspects of our lives, and our children’s lives, are handled by that same force. Let go of the thought that you need to micro-manage and control all aspects of your life to make it work. Some things might not work out the way you think they should or in the timeframe you want, but they will turn out exactly the way they are meant to. More importantly, you’ll experience a whole new level of calm and joy in your life. ♥

The Gift of Encouragement

"One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement.
When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold
you might otherwise never have crossed on your own."

                                                                                                                            – JOHN O’DONOHUE

All too often in our daily lives, we run on automatic pilot, so focused on our duties and to-do’s that we don’t take the time to uplift the people around us: our spouse, children, parents, neighbors, co-workers, the checkout clerk in the grocery store. Seek out ways to offer the gift of encouragement to people in your life—a smile, a kind word, a thank you, a hug or pat on the back. You never know the effect or extent of that kind of positive energy—to you it may be a small thing, to someone else, it may be a world of difference. ♥

Choosing Patience

"Patience shows the way into joy."  – RUMI

As Moms, we are in the most demanding and challenging role when it comes to patience. Amidst all the noise, interruptions and demands we face on a daily basis, the ability to respond with patience and tolerance is no easy feat … but it is a choice. And having signed up for this role, we have both the responsibility and the power to make that choice, not only for the sake of our children, but also for our own growth and happiness.

Think patience. What you focus on is what you create, so find ways to keep love, tolerance and patience in your thoughts throughout the day—post patience quotes around your home and workspace, create a mantra or find a prayer to recite, make a dedication in the morning to being more patient that day. When you catch yourself “mindlessly” responding to a situation with impatience and annoyance, stop, breathe and change your mind. Choose to let thoughts of frustration go and shift to a wiser and kinder response. ♥

An Irish Blessing

This is one of my favorite poems from Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue...  ♥

May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work
You do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul.
May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light and renewal to those
Who work with you and to those who see and receive your work.
May your work never weary you.
May it release within you wellsprings of refreshment, inspiration and excitement.
May you be present in what you do.
May you never become lost in the bland absences.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake and alert, approaching your new day with dreams,
Possibilities and promises.
May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected.
May your soul calm, console and renew you.

From Doing to Being...

Here is a wise piece of advice for setting a simple, positive intention each day...

When you wake up in the morning, don’t ask yourself “What do I need to DO today?” Instead, ask “How do I want to BE today?” At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you did as much as how much love and care you put into it.  ♥